The special u

i think about u again..
through this few years i thought we are grown and can use another way to think the future, but i discover that i still selfish to let u stay in my mind.
we are come out from nasional service quite many years, the memories is none stop review in my mind, when i see u at the first day, we dunno between us can happened many story, i really dunno do u care me? i ever hurt u, u ever hurt me, y between us have lie, i hate i lie u because i really love u, i always think, is that between us is never have the second chance anymore? i jealous her, she can possess of u, but i just can wish u, always i thought i can drop down everything, i did try, but i lie myself again, from start to end u r never been forgotten, i really a stupid to think we still have second chance, i so regret to send u a msg at the day, im feel badly to bother ur life again, but i know u will never care it, u never will care me anymore, i really very sturburn on u, i never heard from anything from u my heart like got so many questions, my questions and the answers i scared is not i want. u ever make me insomnia at a night, cried at a night, everything nobody know, u are suffering me.
30 april 2009, i really cant forget this day, my birthday, also is my unforgotten night, i meet u at the night, i really cherish the few hours to be with u, but good memories always short, the day, i drink so much, i cried in the car, i cried y see u again and let u suffering me again, the feeling is really sucks. after the day, u never find me, everything become normal. i really have much things to tell u, i drop down my dignity to tell u everything but u never touch for it i also dunno what i can do again. i just can wait ur answer. do we have second chance?